COACHES INTERACTION WITH PARENTS

Parents and how to work together.  We had very few parent problems.  Maybe it was because we met so many wonderful people in our coaching experiences and maybe it was because I was a parent too and I knew what they were going through with their kids.  Whatever the case, here are some of the things we did to make this a team effort that included the parents.

First of all, I made it clear to the parents that my door and phone were always open to them.  I wanted them to tell me what they were thinking, both good and bad.  I made it a point to always have a preseason parent meeting and I always tried to do it at my home for personal reasons.  I wanted them to understand that I was a parent just like them. 

I told them what to expect.  I told them how we planned practices and how we were believed in playing everyone and how we were going to treat their children and why it was going to be so important to be punctual for practice…  I tried to cover all the logistical topics.

Those things are important but here is what the parents really need to consider.  I spent a great deal of time talking about the parent who gets his kid in the car and then complains about the coaches.  I was not concerned for the coaches’ sakes, I was very concerned for their kid’s sake.

Maybe the parent is right.  Maybe the coach has done something wrong.  Let me explain why the parents have to concur that griping to their kid should NEVER happen.  They do nothing but put their kid in a no-win situation.  If their kid agrees with them, he goes against his coach—and that is someone your kid looks up to and hopefully has come to trust and respect.  Now if the parent is asking his kid to question that trust and not respect his coach—he risks losing his coach.  If he disagrees with you, his parent, whom he loves and whose love he cherishes, he risks losing you.

Here’s a better way.  Call the coach.  Express your concerns.  Determine, like adults, what is the best solution.  Above all, don’t make your kid have to choose—he or she loses either way.

One other issue takes up a lot of the meeting.  The parents must understand that, at times, choices have to be made.  Whereas they each love and want the best for their kid, the coach must consider the entire roster and how each of his decisions will impact numerous players, not just one.  Make them understand that those decisions are not easily arrived at and that you take that responsibility very seriously.  But it must be made by one person—and that person is you.

You might also consider doing classes for any parent that wants to learn more about your sport.  We have had some very fun times doing this.  Keep it very easy-going and informal.  It’s a great way to strengthen the bonds with parents and it gives you a forum to clarify your coaching philosophy.